Who Are the Menendez Brothers’ Wives? Inside the Relationships of Lyle and Erik Menendez

More than three decades after the shocking murders of José and Kitty Menendez, their sons Lyle and Erik remain behind bars — but their love lives have continued to draw public interest. Despite being sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole in 1996, both brothers have married while incarcerated. As their August 2025 parole hearings approach, Erik still has the support of his wife, Tammi Saccoman, while Lyle’s longtime partner, Rebecca Sneed, announced in 2024 that the two had separated after two decades together.

Lyle Menendez’s Marriages

Marriage to Anna Eriksson (1996–2001)

Lyle was the first of the brothers to marry. In 1996, he wed Anna Eriksson, a former model and salon receptionist, on the very day he was sentenced to life in prison. The couple’s relationship began when Eriksson wrote to Lyle during his trial, sparking a correspondence that grew into romance.

The ceremony was conducted via speakerphone, with only a few close relatives and Lyle’s defense attorney, Leslie Abramson, in attendance. However, the marriage collapsed after five years. Eriksson filed for divorce in 2001, citing infidelity after discovering that Lyle had been exchanging letters with other women.

Marriage to Rebecca Sneed (2003–2024)

Two years later, Lyle found love again with Rebecca Sneed, a journalist and magazine editor. The pair had known each other for a decade before their relationship turned romantic. They married in November 2003, and over the years Rebecca became a consistent presence in Lyle’s life. She eventually pursued a legal career and became an attorney, often visiting him in prison.

Lyle once described their marriage as one built on deep communication rather than physical intimacy. “We probably have more intimate conversations than most married spouses do,” he told PEOPLE in 2017.

But in November 2024, Rebecca announced via a Facebook post that she and Lyle had separated, clarifying that it was “not a cheating scandal” and that they remained close friends and allies in the brothers’ ongoing legal fight.

Erik Menendez and Tammi Saccoman

While Lyle’s marriages ended differently, Erik’s relationship with Tammi Saccoman has endured for over 25 years.

How They Met

Tammi, who was then married to Chuck Saccoman, first wrote to Erik in 1993 after following the brothers’ trials on television. Her husband was supportive of her reaching out, and Erik responded, leading to years of correspondence.

Tragedy struck in 1996 when Tammi discovered her husband was abusing her teenage daughter. Chuck turned himself in to police and later died by suicide. During this devastating time, Erik comforted Tammi through letters, and their bond deepened.

Building a Life Together

Tammi and Erik met in person for the first time in 1997 at Folsom State Prison. By 1998, Erik proposed, and they married in a modest prison ceremony the following year, with a Twinkie serving as their wedding cake. Tammi relocated to Sacramento to be closer to him, often visiting multiple times per week with her daughter, Talia.

Despite widespread criticism of their marriage, Erik credits Tammi with saving his life. “Tammi’s love was a major step in my choosing life,” he told PEOPLE. For her part, Tammi has said that while life without physical intimacy is difficult, the emotional connection is more important.

The Reality of Prison Marriages

Both Lyle and Erik have spoken candidly about the limitations of marrying while incarcerated. California law prohibits conjugal visits for inmates serving life sentences, meaning neither brother has consummated his marriage. Lyle once said he values his emotional connection with Rebecca over physical intimacy, while Erik has acknowledged the challenge but also the strength that comes from building a marriage around communication and trust.

Where Things Stand Now

As of mid-2025, Lyle remains separated from Rebecca Sneed but still maintains her support as a friend and advocate. Erik continues his marriage with Tammi, who has stayed by his side for over two decades.

With their parole hearings scheduled for August 2025, both women remain key figures in the brothers’ lives — whether as partners, supporters, or advocates for their release.